Tuesday, April 2, 2013

I am Worthy

By The Happy Chance


I considered myself to be a yes in so many ways:  attractive—yes, successful—yes, talented—yes.  But in the category of romantic relationships, I was a no.

Not that it mattered most of my after high school life.  In college, I made up my mind not to get involved in any serious dating, as I wanted to focus on my education.  I did some dating then, but nothing too serious.  And nothing that would detract me from college.

And then after college, it was my career.  As a career woman, I wanted to make sure that I had a fulfilling and successful career, one that would allow me independence and the lifestyle that I wanted.  When I entered into a relationship, I wanted to be able to bring something to the table and be able to grow with my mate together in a relationship.

Then life happens, one thing after another. I was never ready and “worthy” for a satisfying relationship.  I needed to do this and then do that.  And when problems came up, some of them major life issues, I wanted those to be resolved and to have my house in order, so to speak.  I wanted to be perfect and ready for that special relationship, one that would lead into marriage.

So it didn’t matter then that I hadn’t found that someone.  But at thirty something, it matters now.  Recently, I had a conversation with a friend who talked about the “princess” syndrome that some woman have when dating.  Some women overcompensate for their low self-worth, thinking that if they demanded the princess treatment and respect from men, this would somehow fill that void of self-worth within them.  So they demand that special attention, without reciprocating the treatment and respect to the men they date.  As you can see, this creates a problem. 

This discussion on women and self-worth lead me to really think about why in the area of romantic relationships, I hadn’t attracted my ideal mate, my husband.  I really gave it some thought and came to the realization of what my issue was:  I never felt that I was worthy. 

There was always something that I felt was a priority, something I had to accomplish before I could settle into a fulfilling love relationship.  I now know that I had unintentionally been giving off single vibes, vibes that would attract a life of singlehood if I continued on that path.  That would be fine, if it was the life that I wanted.  But I never wanted to be single all my life.  I saw myself as married to an amazing guy.  Luckily, I came to that realization in good timing, and I’m so grateful that I did.

Gratitude, as with other areas of my life, can shift both my conscious and unconscious feelings of unworthiness.  If I allow her to.  Like any other relationship, it’s a give-receive exchange.  I give my love and praise to Gratitude, and in return Gratitude gives love and unimaginable gifts back.  In this case, I’m using Gratitude to restore the feelings of worthiness in me.  Because in order to attract a loving relationship, I must first start with that relationship within.  I must first love myself for others to see that jewel within me, and an expression of that self-love can manifest into a romantic relationship.

Some of the things that I’ve been doing to transform my feelings of unworthiness is to use affirmations.  I say affirmations to myself, such as, “I am worthy,” “I am grateful that I am worthy,” or “I love myself so much.”  I muster as much Gratitude into those affirmations as I can, feeling the Gratitude deeply. 

In the book, The Magic by Rhonda Byrne, one of the exercises for a day is called “The Magic Mirror.”  In that exercise, you state while in front of the mirror, “Thank you,” with as much Gratitude as possible.  She uses the analogy of Michael Jackson’s song The Man in the Mirror to show, that if we send a bit of Gratitude energy to ourselves, it would transform our lives.  Our outer world is a reflection of our inner world.  So as we work to improve the world inside us, we begin to attract outside experiences that reflect our improved state within.  It’s all about loving ourselves and feeling the Gratitude for being who we are.         

It’s all a learning experience and a journey, improving the self-love and self-worth.  As I continue working on being Grateful for me, who I am, and the contributions that I make to the world, I’ll begin attracting improved circumstances in all areas of my life—including the one area that’s been alluding me for years—romantic love.

What do you think?  Do you have any experiences that as you begin feeling better about yourself, that you began having improved love relationships?  Have you had the experience of realizing that some of your self-talk thoughts haven’t been loving thoughts about yourself?  It’s quite an eye opening experience in realizing the feeling of unworthiness impeding on attracting a loving relationship.  But it’s very empowering to know that once you recognize this within yourself, that Gratitude can change it.


Patrice of Glass by Patrice said...

Glad to hear you have a healthy sense of self! I'm sure lots of women don't even understand they do that princess thing. The Strokes have a good song that has a verse that reminds me of this idea, called "Razorblade". Keep on your awesome journey! :)

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